Hello Friend, Its Been Awhile
*Sigh* To say it has been a crazy 45 days is an understatement. I am CD45, 14dpo and awaiting AF’s arrival. A huge part of me felt relief when my body finally ovulated on CD31. But now that this month has come to an end without a BFP, I’m feeling just so ready for it all to be over. Its been a rollercoaster of emotions and frustrations, including the occasional hopeful and excited moment, but i am mentally drained.
I started this blog to always take a step back & remember I am blessed and thankful for my life. Today, I am having a hard time finding something to be thankful for ” TTC-wise.”
I just need a little break from my own emotions, from others’ emotions and drama, from arguments & feeling hopeless…. I need to hit the reset button.
For my friends who read this blog, these feelings are not from my inability to handle a BFN. I haven’t even tested since 11dpo. BFN’s don’t really phase me anymore in such a tragic way. Things going on in life, sorrows friends are facing, just having to BE PRESENT for everyone everyday on a constant basis, without being able to express my own sadness, struggles or frustrations has posed too much for me this week. I feel like I need (and am being encouraged to by my DH) to withdraw into my cocoon, alone, for a couple weeks. This is more of a last resort than a choice.