Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

CD 9 & Where Have I Been?

Where have I been? In short: moving, getting settled, keeping sane & starting fresh. Again.

I ended up getting a BFP {big fat positive} last cycle with the Clomid. I got it on 11dpo on the day our movers came. The test/s were pretty dark too, so what happened next was a surprise. Not a good surprise.

I went to the new RE office the following day, got all my blood drawn, got scripts for a ton of meds (Progesterone, Estrogen, Lovenox, a different prenatal, Folbic, baby aspirin) & spent the whole day getting them filled. I was extremely hopeful. I didn’t have that doomed feeling / gut reaction I had with the other pregnancies.

So when the nurse called me that night with my hcg results {blood pregnancy levels} and they were a 9, I was devastated.  And confused. I didn’t see how it was possible to get such a clear line on a pregnancy test and the level come back so low. This is when the doubt crept in.

2 days later I got my repeat hcg done (and estradiol & progesterone) and it went down to 4.

I went off all the meds and my period started 4 days later. I now have a shit ton of prego meds hoarded in my house, which is awkward, yet I am glad I have them on hand now. I am / was super sad about having another loss, but I am trying to move forward from it.

As for an RE update: I’ve had all the bloodwork done & the Lupron Challenge completed. I don’t get those results until my big follow up in October. I do know some of the results & they have all been in normal range. (Minus my estradiol & progesterone being lower than normal according to my clinic’s ranges).

My Hysteroscopy, sonohysterogram, & biopsies are not scheduled until next month…which is daunting having to wait. BUT this gives me time to heal emotionally & physically, and work on ME again. The last couple weeks were a whirlwind of chaos…the pregnancy was a surprise and a blessing amidst it all…and even though it didn’t work out, we are working towards the original game plan & staying hopeful.

My day is coming… one day.

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2 thoughts on “CD 9 & Where Have I Been?

  1. Aw, I’m so sorry, hun. I believe, along with you, that you WILL have your day, and I pray it is soon.

  2. I’m so sorry to hear this. You are in my thoughts and prayers. ❤

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