Tonight is the first night in 33 days I’m not laying down to do my lovenox shot. Tonight I’m not listening to the same song I’ve listening to for strength in over a month while I do my shot. I won’t be meditating much tonight. It’s more than sadness you feel when the end has arrived. It’s numbness & pain. Emptiness. Depression even. It’s not just a physical loss, it’s an emotional and spiritual loss as well. I can tell you I’m not ready to let go. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye yet.