Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

Dream a Dream

I had a playlist on my iPhone I would listen to nightly when I gave myself my lovenox shot this past cycle. The same “Spirit Baby” playlist from CD 10 and on. About halfway through the month, I added “I Dreamed a Dream” from Les Mis to the list. I’ve always loved the song & with the recent release of the box office version, it popped back into my mind. But as soon as I added it, I knew it seemed a bit out of place. 
A week later I added “Come What May” from Moulin Rouge (…and because it happened to be on Glee). Hmm I should have picked up on the changing vibe then, but I didn’t. 
My songs I would sing to my spirit baby went a little dark. It was almost as if my subconscious could sense things were going south long before the storm. 
Unfortunately, but not surprisingly, my subconscious was indeed right. And my ectopic adventure began…

I blogged about the night I stopped listening to my playlist. It’s too fresh and painful to listen to it still. But the one song that I catch myself singing constantly is still I Dreamed a Dream. I always saw this baby as a girl, and these words never rang truer than now. 

“And still I dream she’ll come to me
That we will live the years together.
But there are dreams that cannot be
And there are storms we cannot weather.
I had a dream my life would be
So much different from this hell I’m living.
So different now from what it seemed.
Now life has killed the dream…
I dreamed.”

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6 thoughts on “Dream a Dream

  1. I also have songs that I identify with. I love your song.

    • I’d love to hear about your playlist. I’m always looking to add new songs to mine. Maybe my blog next week will be about fertility soundtracks. Thanks for the inspiration xx

  2. Me too! I have been trying to compile a playlist of songs I can bury my miscarriage feelings into and this song was one of those which instantly came to my mind!

  3. Wow that’s a crazy good idea to have a sound track for when you your focusing on baby spirit. I would like to hear what others think about or what there emotions are.

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