Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

She Walks a Fine Line

Knowing that your days of trying to conceive have been officially put on hold the week after Infertility Awareness Week walks a fine between fuc*ed up and ironic.

Technically, my fate was decided after my 2nd shot of methotrexate for this ectopic… that 6 month “waiting period” for your body to rebound from the nasty drug, to detox and to rebuild your folate stores. But on top of that, my husband won’t be around to make any babies for awhile.

It’s a feeling of sadness yet relief. Or should I say, a roller coaster of sadness followed by relief followed by sadness. You get the picture.

I’ve never felt so emotionally unstable & like a crazy person until I got pregnant the first time. I was never one to get PMS or feel moody ever in my life, but my God has that changed over the last 4 or so years. I can’t even imagine what menopause will be like…

So this waiting period will hopefully bring about time for self-healing and reflection, as well as open doors to what my future may hold. I’m still holding onto hope and planning for my one-day-baby, but keeping my heart a little more guarded.

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One thought on “She Walks a Fine Line

  1. Cathy Jupp on said:

    If you think menopause might be bad for you, then the very best advice I can give is to eliminate dairy products from your diet. I suffered dreadfully throughout my menstruating years with pain and other unpleasant symptoms. Then just as I became peri-menopausal, I went vegan (the two events were unrelated). My pain plummeted – at last I could function right through the month. By the time of my last period I was symptom-free, and apart from the fact that I always seem to be a couple of degrees warmer than everyone else, I have no menopausal symptoms whatever. No hot flushes, no night sweats, no violent mood swings.
    I guess if you think about it dairy is full of hormones, so it’s bound to have an effect. I wish I’d stopped using it decades ago, my life would have been so much better!
    If this comment is unwelcome, I apologise – I mean no harm.
    All luck to you.
    cj

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