Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

Closer

Yesterday a friend of mine told me to put the following well-known quote up on my bathroom wall & read it every single day:

When the world says, “Give up”

Hope whispers, “Try one more time.”

I know this is something I need to read, memorize & recite until it penetrates deep into soul.

I was quietly sitting in the ob/gyn’s office this afternoon, drumming my fingers on the chair to the song on the radio that played over the loud speaker.  The wait was getting long, but I really didn’t mind. I had seen 2 other patients come and go, who were of course pregnant. It didn’t bother me much. I just tried not to look at them & not to think about it. 

And then a new song came on. It was the song I listened to every night for over a month when I did my shots at night in my bed during my last fertility cycle. It was my song to my baby. A Thousand Years.

I was alone in the lobby, so I simply closed by eyes and focused on my breath. And all I could hear was:

One step closer. One step closer.

That’s what I was doing at the doctor’s office today. I was pressing forward. I was moving one step closer. I took the last few months to process what had happened with the loss, and today I chose to move forward. And I didn’t realize it until that song began to play. 

I can still feel my spirit baby’s presence. It’s not as strong as it was before, but it’s never left me.  Today was just a small reminder to not give up. One day, I will listen to this song as I meet my baby for the first time. And then my life will be complete.

xx

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