Yesterday a friend of mine told me to put the following well-known quote up on my bathroom wall & read it every single day:
When the world says, “Give up”
Hope whispers, “Try one more time.”
I know this is something I need to read, memorize & recite until it penetrates deep into soul.
I was quietly sitting in the ob/gyn’s office this afternoon, drumming my fingers on the chair to the song on the radio that played over the loud speaker. The wait was getting long, but I really didn’t mind. I had seen 2 other patients come and go, who were of course pregnant. It didn’t bother me much. I just tried not to look at them & not to think about it.
And then a new song came on. It was the song I listened to every night for over a month when I did my shots at night in my bed during my last fertility cycle. It was my song to my baby. A Thousand Years.
I was alone in the lobby, so I simply closed by eyes and focused on my breath. And all I could hear was:
One step closer. One step closer.
That’s what I was doing at the doctor’s office today. I was pressing forward. I was moving one step closer. I took the last few months to process what had happened with the loss, and today I chose to move forward. And I didn’t realize it until that song began to play.
I can still feel my spirit baby’s presence. It’s not as strong as it was before, but it’s never left me. Today was just a small reminder to not give up. One day, I will listen to this song as I meet my baby for the first time. And then my life will be complete.