Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

Archive for the tag “baby”

Scatterbrained…

I have a bunch of scattered thoughts that I’m not sure amount to a any specific blog topic. But I just wanted to share a little of what is going on, especially since I haven’t written in awhile.

I can’t say for sure what CD (cycle day) I’m on. The HSG + femara cycle threw my body for a loop & I haven’t had a true period since. What I do know is that I’m glad to be off birth control! Let’s take a step back…

After I had my HSG, bloodwork, husband’s tests, etc. I had my follow-up with my RE (Reproductive Endocrinologist) to discuss his game plan for us. After discussing everything, he suggested a timed intercourse cycle with Bravelle & Menopur. I think “timed intercourse” is a silly phrase. I was just thrilled IUI or IVF wasn’t mentioned right off the bat. Although there wasn’t a real reason it would be, I was still nervous.

So the very same day, I was instructed to start my first birth control pill. THIS was not something I had planned on. Ever. Because of my past issues with lupus, autoimmune issues, clotting disorders, estrogen was always said to be a big no-no. What was this doctor thinking prescribing me birth control pills!?? The nurse said it was a low dose & I would only be on them for 3 weeks. They needed to make sure that when the time was right, they can control over my ovulation. They didn’t want me ovulating on my own, too early, etc. I was going to be monitored (ultrasounds + estradiol levels) basically every other day once I started my stims. I reluctantly agreed to the bcp’s because I DID see the big picture.

I encountered some resistence from my friends & husband when I told them about the protocol, understandably. I explained to one friend that nothing worth having comes easy. And TTC and all it involves is not always 100% comfortable. Things don’t always go as we have planned. So this was just a small step towards our miracle.

And it was a small step! I ended the birth control a few days ago. Other than a little nausea & some crazy sore boobs near the end, it was easy. Of course, hormones & emotions have been flying too… But that’s all part of the deal 🙂

On Friday, I have my visit to the Doc to get my baseline ultrasound, bloodwork, instructions on how to use my medicines & I start my injections (hopefully). I’ll also start my Lovenox on the same day.

In the middle of all of this, I had a birthday. It seemed to come & go mysteriously, leaving me at the ripe age of 31. Saying I am 31 is bizarre & feels foreign still. I don’t feel any different but know I am officially in my “thirties” now. Again, this is very strange. I’m happy to have made it this far & learned as much as I have. I’ve been through a lot of struggles which have made me a better person. A better 31 year old woman.

Today, I have an acupuncture appointment to get my “zen on.” I am also looking forward to some goodies coming in the mail 🙂 (a birthday present from a sweet friend, some items for my craft business, and some items for future baby) You have to look for the little blessings in life, every day. They’re not always going to be these huge, life changing miracles. I’ll be waiting for that type of blessing in 10 months.

Til next time…

4dpo – Thoughts

Today, I am 4dpo (days past ovulation). Like last month, I think I will quit temping in order to remain calm & not overthink things. I tend to overanalyze my chart, compare it to previous charts, compare it to other people’s charts… you get the idea. I have enough things going on that I don’t want to obsess about something as silly as my temperature. (MOVING for example!)

When TTC back in 2009-2010, I never temped. I used opk’s and that was it. Technically I suppose you could say that temping hasn’t been beneficial or got me anywhere since I haven’t got pregnant once since starting. Some women say BFN’s make them sad or depressed, seeing them over & over again each month. For me, its a bad chart. It’s seeing that temperature & symptoms start to go away around 9dpo each & every month. By that point, seeing the BFN has little effect on me. But that day when my boobs stop hurting kills me, because I know the inevitable outcome, regardless of what the pee stick tells me.

I want to go into my RE appointment (which is Wednesday) with a calm, open mind. This is a huge step for me & I can admit I am scared. I’m scared of what they will or will not find. I’m scared of answers I really don’t want to have. Equally as scared of no explanations as to why it seems I am the only one of my friends who is still trying to have a baby.

On a happy note, I’m really enjoying Will & Grace reruns this morning. Way better than the Olympics. blasphemy!

Baby Buys

I am all about a good deal. I don’t like paying full price for things if I can help it. Obviously this isn’t always possible, but when it is… its magic. Today, I spent $27 on the following future baby items:

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waterproof pads for the co-sleeper and changing table & binkies

The binks were not on sale (sad) but my husband has been wanting to get some for the mini. The pads however were on sale. I don’t see us using a crib until later, so I thought these smaller pads were a better idea.

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gowns & sleepers...

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Once Upon A Child buys

These clothes were $2.50 each and two of them were 50% off. I have one mama friend who loves gowns & one who loves the sleep sacks. Manipulating snaps @ night in the dark doesn’t seem sensible to me, so I’m opting for zippers or gowns.

Our future mini already has swag and he or she hasn’t even popped out of an ovary yet. That’s pretty pimp if you ask me.

More baby buys blogs to come

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