Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

Archive for the tag “life”

Psycho Numbers

Do you ever look at the clock and it always seems to be a certain time?  I remember when I was little I would see 3:33 all the time. Like, obsessively. Granted, I am a tad OCD anyways. Well, I don’t see 3:33 anymore, but there have been these two numbers that I have been seeing everywhere for almost a year now.  I have been wracking my brain trying to figure out what these numbers may mean. Of course, as a TTCer, I think “Is this going to be a beta number? My conception date? A baby’s birthday?”

But then I was listening to a podcast a few weeks ago that sort of blew my mind. The speaker said sometimes we see a certain number or word repeatively and instead of obsessing over it’s possible meaning, just take it as a sign. So I pondered to myself, maybe by seeing these psycho recurring numbers, its simply a sign that God is with me. And I, being thick-headed and stubborn, just needed an obvious sign that HE is with me.  Then I decided to take it a step further.

Today, I have already seen these two numbers. And each time I did, I stopped and thought of something I was grateful for.  Little things like the nice weather, being alive, getting errands ran, being motivated.  I realized they don’t have to be giant life-changing events.  Its so easy to focus on the bad things that happen everyday that we forget about everything that actually went right.  Even if it’s as small as nothing caught on fire or blew up in the kitchen.

I know this is all part of my path to gratitude and joyful living.  And trust me – it is not easy. It’s a journey, just like trying to conceive. 

CD15 + anniversary

PART ONE

2 years ago on this day I was having a hard time, every day was a struggle.  My world had fallen apart.  My 2 friends took me out on the town to get my mind off of my depressing life. I met my husband that night. My life was never depressing again.

Life can change in a moment’s notice. Today, I am thankful I went out on that Girls Night 2years ago. God helped me close the door on my past and He opened the door to my future.

Time has a tendency to fly by and drag on at the same time. Its a weird paradoxical phenomenon. I am surprised that 2 years later on this date I was laying (once again) on an ultrasound office table with a probe up my crotch. This time it was because we are trying to conceive. We’re trying to have a baby. Trying to get pregnant. Its hard to believe that young guy I met 2 years ago is now onboard with impregnating me. Equally as hard to believe is how difficult getting pregnant has been this time around.

Life is a mystery. Its always throwing curves, never going as you planned. But for those with faith, we need to realize its not 100% up to us.

PART TWO

CD15.  I had the ultrasound to check my follies today. Unfortunately, the doctor wasn’t in so the ultrasound tech wasn’t able to tell me much (you know, by “law” they aren’t supposed to say anything). I had follies, good blood flow to my ovaries, &  everything looked normal, but I have to wait for a phone call for the “results”. Lame. The tech was nice though and definitely inferred that we need to go ahead and “go for it” because unofficially it looked like I was in the process of ovulating. AKA don’t wait to hear from the doctor to knock boots. Thanks Ultrasound Lady.

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CD15 opk

I had an inkling my ovulation monitor was on the fritz when I kept getting negative results and the lines were looking faint and weird ( including the control line ). So today when I peed on the stick and it was negative…I was sort of annoyed and confused because according to u/s chick, that shit should be positive. Well, I went out and bought a new box…voila.

PRK

Today, I’m thankful my husband can see.  He had PRK yesterday, which is like LASIK, and I was a nervous Nancy. More nervous than him I think… but when he walked out of the little room and wasn’t blind, I let out a sigh of relief. I know its impractical to think he would be blind from a relatively simple procedure, but that still didn’t ease my fear.

So now he’s enjoying a few days off from work & I’m more than happy to have him home. I can’t imagine life without my glasses….but honestly….I’m fine with that!

CD3.

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