Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

Archive for the tag “Resolve”

Let’s Support One Another

2013-bloggers-challenge-badge2
As Infertility Awareness Week continues, I wanted to share a bit more helpful information I’ve been seeing with the community here. Resolve has posted links to the first batch of Bloggers Unite entries… And I am happy to see some familiar faces on the list. I think it’s very important that we not only support each other as a community, but learn from each other. Infertility is such a deep, twisted maze and finding answers can seem impossible at times. I know I can attest to the vast amount of knowledge I’ve gained from the blogs of others. I always say, you have to be your own health advocate. No one knows your body better than you.

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/2013-join-the-movement-blog-posts-page-1.html <— Here’s that link.

I challenge you to subscribe / follow just 1 new blogger today. Heck, or go crazy & follow ALL of them!

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JOIN THE MOVEMENT… Infertility Etiquette

Yesterday I spoke briefly on my own infertility journey & how to bring awareness to the disease.  Just like any other condition or illness, when people find out, they want to help & give advice.  And just like an obese person doesn’t need to be told to lose weight by a friend, an infertile person or couple doesn’t want to be told _____________ .

  • To Just Relax or go on a vacation

Although you mean well, anything along these lines isn’t really helpful. A couple isn’t even diagnosed as infertile until after a year or more of trying to conceive without having a baby. So telling someone that relaxation is the medication they need to conceive is usually offensive and minimizes their condition. 

  • Giving advice when you have no idea what you’re talking about

Ok, this sounds a little harsh. A better way to phrase it would be uneducated advice.  Any infertile woman or man knows that unless you have been through what they have been through, you cannot possibly understand.  Now that doesn’t mean you can’t sympathize or give great advice!  But please, do your homework first and ask us questions before you start delving out “advice.”

  • Don’t say “There are worst things that could happen”

Sure, we could all be hit by a car or drop dead tomorrow. That would be probably be worse. But minimzing the deep feelings & strong emotions of someone who just had a miscarriage or a stillborn baby is cruel. Any mother knows the immediate bond and unconditional love she has for her child. A woman who has had a miscarriage feels the same way, I promise you.  Imagine if all of your children died… you would never tell that mother “things could be worse.”

  • Don’t ask “Why haven’t you tried IVF or adoption or surrogacy”

While these are all amazing ways to grow your family, not every couple is ready for these steps.  Unfortunately many people are unaware of the immense costs for IVF, adoption or surrogacy, let alone that most health insurance does not cover these services.  IVF increases the risk of multiple pregnancies and will cost $15,000 or more on average. Surrogates typically get a flat fee of $20,000 plus the birth parents pay all medical costs.  And adoption varies greatly…but you’re looking at the same costs, plus your baby will not be genetically related to you & the birth parents can always pull out at the last minute causing extreme emotional trauma. 

  • Please, don’t complain about your pregnancy or your baby (or children)

Everyone needs to bitch & moan and we totally get that! But when you are aware your dear friend or family member is struggling to build their family, please watch your words when you complain about your pregnancy. As an infertile woman, I can tell you there is nothing in this world I would rather experience than a big belly, heartburn and morning sickness.  Imagine having a wonderful dream for years and years, and you see everyone around you attain that dream, yet you are left empty handed and hurt. That’s what infertility is.

Infertility is a pain that doesn’t subside. As a woman, It has changed me greatly. So what can you do to help?

  • Be encouraging, supportive, ask questions, take interest, support our decision, remember us on Mother’s Day!
  • And lastly, be a listening ear

 

Please, visit these website for more information:

 

 

 

 

 

JOIN THE MOVEMENT…Unsilence the Silence

Bloggers Unite

Bloggers Unite


If you look at me, I don’t look remarkable. I’m a plain 30-something, healthy & thin college educated married woman.

But I am infertile. I hate the word infertile. I would never label myself as infertile, but I think sometimes you need to use these “labels” to get people’s attentions. I am the face of multiple miscarriage & autoimmune disease. I don’t look sick, but I am.

Infertility isn’t a choice. It’s not an effect of my lifestyle. I was born this way. 1 out of every 8 couples {of reproductive age} suffer with infertility. There’s a very good chance that your close friends have struggled with infertility without you even knowing! That’s because there is such a stigma around the topic. And that needs to change. My husband and I suffer in silence, with only a few close friends being in our inner circle of knowing. People look at you different when you have a hard time conceiving, but they look even more uncomfortable when you tell them you’ve had 4 miscarriages. It’s a look that is a cross between pity and uncomfortable. Society feels these emotions of confusion because they are uneducated.

What everyone needs to understand is, like any other chronic condition or disease, infertility is something you suffer with, take medication for, see specialists for, and cry your eyes out about. My 22 year old brother was just diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes a few days ago… talk about a shock. But he and I are the same – we both have illnesses. The difference in society is his is recognized as legitimate & acceptable but mine is not.

Bearing a child is the greatest gift God can bestow upon you as a woman. For those of us who struggle and work years upon years to attain this joyful gift, and never do… there is no comfort to our hearts. Resolve is working to make our lives a little easier. To bring attention and funding to those couples or single women who need it most. And all we ask is that you listen with an open mind.

Please educate yourself by viewing the links listed below. Small steps lead to big changes.

 

 

Resolve: Bloggers Unite – Do Your Part

Resolve: Bloggers Unite - Do Your Part

National Infertility Awareness week is coming up soon. If you aren’t familiar with “Resolve.org” I suggest you familiarize yourself because they are pretty awesome.

http://www.resolve.org/national-infertility-awareness-week/home-page.html <— My laptop is being ridic and won't let me add a hyperlink!

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