Daily Blessings

Throughout this fertility journey, no matter how much life has thrown at me, I will remember my blessings & affirmations each day.

Archive for the tag “summer”

Recluse & Fancy Free

I live in a warm climate. We have bugs here. Lots of weird & annoying bugs. Pests, really.

Like most people, I assume, I hate bugs. I especially don’t want them in my house. I am a clean freak, so it makes it even worse. Plus, I did not grow up around these types of bugs. So our animals have fleas. This makes me feel dirty & angry. I feel bad for my cat, because she’s my baby. Granted, they aren’t bad on her, but it makes me really sad to see her itch herself. I also feel bad for the dog, yet I am resentful towards him because I know he’s the carrier. The dog was my husbands family’s dog, which he took about 1.5 years ago to take care of. So I bathe, clean, vacuum, treat, etc the pets & house.  This does nothing. But it makes me feel better.

So this morning around 5:00am when my husband is about to leave for work, and I am drooling incoherently half asleep because I was up until about 2:00am, he wakes me up to say goodbye and says, “I need you to do me a favor.” Are you freaking kidding me… he needs me to keep an eye on the cat. He found her in the kitchen with a big spider which he thought was a brown recluse. I’m freaking out because neither of us know if it bit her, or she tried to eat it, yada yada. Plus, I am wicked exhausted and seeing double. I keep my eye on her and consult Dr. Google. The good doctor tells me brown recluses aren’t aggressive and they won’t kill her, but to look for a bite area that can necrose. (Gross). Ends up, the spider was killed by my husband and was a wolf spider, not a recluse. I feel better since Delaney isn’t a wolf.

Needless to say, the cat is fine & obviously left the bug alone. {Smart puss}. But it doesn’t change that fact that our house has fleas and spiders now. I’m thankful we are moving in 3 weeks.

I’m also thankful for Starbucks Hot Chocolate. Yay I don’t care that its 97 degrees outside. It still tastes good.

4th of July, 10dpo & BFN

First the formalities. Happy 4th of July / Independence Day, America. Its a great country, even though we clearly have our share of issues. I celebrated my day at a cookout and pool party at my husband’s aunt and uncles. The weather was insanely hot and humid, so the pool was a welcomed relief.

This morning, however, I decided since I was 10dpo and had a few hours alone, i would test. Major FAIL. I had smuggled 1 dollar store test in my suitcase, along with pads & my Lovenox. So I was prepared for either a BFP or a BFN. Shocker it was a BFN, right? Am I surprised? Of course not. It really feels like my body can no longer get pregnant. We did everything perfectly this time. We were calm, had fun, didn’t worry about anything. And still not pregnancy.

It used to be so easy for me to get pregnant. In fact, when I started round 2 (with my 2nd awesome husband) everyone was so sure I’d be pregnant in no time. I knew they were all wrong. I’ve been off any kind of contraception for over a year now. Something is wrong.

My new OB GYN appointment is on the 13th, and I also have a phone consult on the 12th (thanks for a dear friend of mine) with a renowned RE. I’m praying this goes well & I get some insight soon before I flip my lid.

I know 10dpo is technically early, but this just feels like another failed cycle. For those who read, please continue the support. I really appreciate it & it keeps me going.

Until next time…

5dpo + busy days ahead

I have made it to 5dpo without already going insane. {Insert cheering}  What’s more, my thermometer is staying home during our little trip coming up. Its going to be TOUGH having no clue what’s going on with my temps, but it will also be a relief to not have that number staring at me each morning at 0700. BBT and charting is a great tool for TTC, and I am an advocate… Yet, I feel this is a well deserved break for me from TTC rat race.

Since everyone and their brother is discussing the weather, I’ll throw in my 2 cents and state the obvious as well. Its hot as hell. There. That’s taken care of.

So my husband got promoted today…outdoors…in the 107 degree heat. (Bad move).  Luckily, I decided last minute to wear a sundress. (Smart move). I’m very proud of him and what he’s accomplished. Today, I am thankful for my husband and his ability to provide so well for our family.

I hope everyone has a fun & safe holiday. I’ll be enjoying myself and cooling off a bit from this heat wave, while refraining from obsessing about my 2WW (2 week wait).

Til next time…

CD17 & family

First off, a special hello and thank you to my new & old subscribers. It touches my heart to have you follow me in my life path.

My husband came home Friday & this time, distance definitely made the grow fonder. I used to say, “distance makes the heart grow fungus…” I think mini breaks from your spouse are usually beneficial. Its the long breaks that tend to cultivate the fungus.

Life has been somewhat relaxed lately, especially in the TTC world. I’ve just been over it. On Saturday, we will pack our bags (and pets) and head out to visit family for a little less than 2 weeks. Its going to be hot as hades around here, so it’ll be a nice break.

Spending time away from responsibilities and relaxing is what we need. No thinking about TTC will be allowed!

I have my 2nd opinion / consult with the new OB/GYN the week we arrive home. I’m looking forward to this. I sometimes feel like an elderly person who looks forward to their weekly outings to the doctors. {Insert chuckle} I’m still considering the LAP (laprascopy), but the timing of the surgery will prove to be difficult.

I’m CD17 today and think I ovulated. We’ll see what tomorrow’s temperature brings, then I’ll be stashing the BBT in the night stand once again. Please, wish me luck and send good vibes.

XO

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